Question by : My ex broke off things with me, but has been contacting me.?
My ex broke up with me a little over a month ago (via email). I’ll admit I took it kind of personally that she chose such an indirect route and so I became cold and callous. Our interactions were not pleasant. In her email she stated that she WANTS to be with me but CANT be with me. Before we broke we were going through a rough patch and the vitriol (on my end) was giving her a sense of insecurity. I reflect on things now and know that my emotional immaturity got in the way and played a part in the whole thing. We have a 10 year old son together and our only communications (after the break-up) would only be about our son. Since, our interactions (because we still have to see each other regarding our son) were ‘somewhat’ friendly, but seemed forced. I agree that we are probably nervous in seeing each other, but we have been cordial and nice towards each other. But the past 2 weeks she has reached out to me for just odd reasons. One was she met a recruiter that was looking for someone in my field and she gave him my contacts. I live in NYC and she lives in CT and the job was in CT. I just found it rather confusing that she would try to refer me to a job in CT. She calls me at my office (which she NEVER did after the break) and tells me all about this job and the opportunity. However, before we broke up, my intentions were to move to CT with her and my son. In the end I met with the recruiter and decided not to pursue because of the distance I had to travel between NYC and CT on a daily basis.

Secondly, she emailed me out of the blue yesterday about football- one of the fun things we found in common and always had a lot of fun with. Her team- the Denver Broncos- had acquired Peyton Manning. So she was SO excited she decided to email me. My team- the Oakland Raiders- are bitter rivals of the Broncos. Of course, I playfully responded, ‘they still suck’, but she responded right away with…”I KNEW you would share my enthusiasm ” and I left it right there.

I have to admit at least we are communicating on somewhat personal level now, but my intentions were to give her ‘space’ and not reaching out to her unless it involved our son. One of the things she said that she needed when we broke- “she needed time.” I am just a bit confused right now on what her intentions are. Can anyone give me some advice? Thanks!

Confused in NYC

Best answer:

Answer by You
It sounds like she did not want to break up but saw no other way to mend things. She wants to still be in your life and have a possibility of getting back together with you but not at the moment. Sometimes we need to take a break and step back to evaluate our lives. Figure out what is most important and remembering what it is we love most. She probably thinks that by stepping out of the relationship it would give you both time to miss each other, and remember all the good, so when you got back together you would appreciate each other more.

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